Last night, for listening club, we watched a depressing and beautiful documentary about the Hlemmur bus terminal in Reykjavik Iceland; specifically the homeless people who spend their time around it. Depression, alcoholism, drug abuse, and mental illness were some of the issues connecting each character, but the one heart wrenching aspect of each of their lives was parenthood. Each of the characters had children, mostly grown up and independent, whom they were no longer in contact with. This common theme lead to overwhelming depression which also contributed to the alcoholism and drug use. Everytime a character would speak about their children, my heart would break. I'm not afraid of being alone, nither do I run from silence, but it is a Biblical truth that we aren't meant to be alone. (Gen 2:18)You can call me a momma's boy, socialist, whatever, but here's my plan for never again in my life, living alone if I can help it. The entire plan, which is in no way revolutionary, revolves around the extended family unit and my empathy for my own parents. "He's gonna be changing our diapers someday," my dad often jokes. What he doesn't know is that surely some day when he is elderly and can't take care of himself or my mother or visa versa, I will indeed refuse to send them to any assisted living community. I'll build an extension onto my house, buy a new house, pitch a tent in the back yard, or do whatever I need to do to have my parents live with me.
Both of my parents are fairly healthy and relatively young, only 24 years older than me, so I don't forsee them needing assistance for a very long time. Also, if one were to die, mine or in-law, I will in a moments notice take in the other. I would even like for them to live with me earlier. I can think of a ton of benifits to having my parents live with me:
Free childcare. A live in cook who works for hugs and the occassional scrabble or golf game. Wisdom for my kids to learn from. And a bit of heart wrenching entertainment when they start to get loopy. There will be books that need reading, crosswords that need finishing, and kids to spoil.
If I have my children though within the next 5 years or so, chances are very high that my children will be out and on their own around the same time that I need to take in my own parents and we can all just be old together. And to complete my cycle, hopefully I was as awesome a parent as mine were and my own kids will be willing to take me in!
